Whiteness.
Image by artist and author Tatyana Fazlalizadeh, @tlynnfaz
Ohhhh, being White. It is extremely humbling to talk about being White with honesty and authenticity. So here goes.
My fellow White folks, it’s high time to really look at our Whiteness. It’s not a pretty thing to look at when you know that your people have perpetrated, condoned, practiced, and benefited from racism for hundreds of years. That doesn’t mean that we’re all racists – but it is true that as White folk, we have benefited from a system that was created to benefit us and keep the Black/Brown/Indigenous people down. This country was founded on genocide and slavery, and the lives and voices of non-Whites is still considered less-than. For a start, Indigenous tribes are still fighting to keep logging and oil drilling off their reservations, and Black Americans are almost 3 times likely to be killed by police than Whites. The atrocities don’t stop there, as I’m sure you know. It’s long list.
When I have mentioned to friends/family in the past that this country was founded on genocide and slavery, some liberal Whites in my life have said that this country was also founded on innovation, religious freedom, revolution against tyranny, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, sure. All on the backs of Black and Brown people. You could say it was built on the backs of Chinese people too, who built our railroads, and suffered greatly from discrimination and abuse, but as far as I understand, they were not enslaved or systematically murdered or sent to far-off lands against their will. And yes, you could say “but even Irish people weren’t considered White when they first immigrated to the States!” but they were never slaves. They were poor and working class and certainly suffered, just like many poor Whites now, but we have always been free.
Auctioning of human beings. © 2020 Smithsonian Magazine
Violence against Blacks, including police brutality, is at the forefront of many of our minds right now. The origins of the police force in the 1700s in the U.S. had two purposes: In the North, to protect property; and in the South, as “slave patrols,” chasing those who tried to escape, preventing revolts, and then later enforcing segregation and the preventing former slaves from prospering in any way. Has anything changed? During the protests and riots/looting over the past few weeks, cops seem more intent on committing violence against peaceful crowds and protecting property than in protecting First Amendment rights. It’s not all shown on mainstream news media, but there are videos all over social media of tear gassing, rubber bullets, baton beatings, and unlawful arrests and detainment of protestors.
None of this is news for Black Americans. Protests are happening this time in White neighborhoods (brilliant decision making by organizing groups!), giving the movement against police brutality a wider audience and increased participation by Whites. One of the speakers at the Los Angeles Pan Pacific Park rally/walk on May 30th shouted out, “We’re not protesting in Crenshaw, we’re coming to Beverly Hills!” Brilliant. Like my friend Tania said, “Let’s see how y’all rock with that.” (Tania is an extremely talented makeup artist, writer and educator by the way – check her out at www.makeuptogo.com. Yes, she is a Black woman, and weren’t you just talking about how you want to support more Black-owned businesses?)
Attempts at police reform over the years have simply created a militarized force that only answers to itself, with little accountability. We need a complete overhaul – not more reforms that may or may not be implemented. The history of violence against citizens by police won’t stop until the culture is changed. In Seattle, peaceful protestors chanted, “I don’t see no riot here, why are you in riot gear?”.
Can you stretch your imagination to see a world without police violence? In Los Angeles, 54% of our city’s budget goes to law enforcement. Our Mayor just yielded a teensy bit to pressure and reduced it to 51%. Gee thanks. Imagine how much more supported our communities would be if that money was invested in education, housing, and healthcare. This is why we are chanting #defundthepolice at protests, and why there is a call in Los Angeles for #carenotcops and The People’s Budget. Invest in communities.
The first time I realized my Whiteness and the damage it could cause I was 8 or 9 years old, growing up in a diverse New York neighborhood. Growing up around people from all over the world and of many different colors was just how it was. Friends were friends and we played together. My mother had reunited with an old high school friend, a Black woman, and invited her over for lunch with her son. My brother and the woman’s son were about 6 years old, and we were all playing Star Wars toys together. Then the boy got up and left the room for a while, we didn’t think much of it, and then my mother came into our room and yelled at us for making their family feel uncomfortable and that we made our family seem like racists. I was so confused. I had to piece together in my head what “racist” meant. Apparently my brother and I used the word “boogers” a few times when we were playing together (ya know, like snot? Snot is gross, and kids love talking about gross stuff) but apparently that could also be used as a racial slur. I had no idea. I was horrified that my mother, and this nice kid and his mom, would think that I had any negative feelings about someone because of their skin color – let alone call them names. Ugh. I felt the ickiness in my gut.
My 8th birthday party.
Rascal since the 70s.
But really being aware of one’s Whiteness is much bigger than that. We are being called to be major players in this fight against police brutality in this system of racial oppression and brutality against BIPOC (Black/Indigenous/People of Color) for good reason. Black people are tired, tired, tired. They’re tired of being pulled over; tired of guns being pulled on them; tired of being killed as they go about their day; tired of being at much higher risk for infant & maternal mortality and chronic disease, and lower life expectancy; Black parents are tired of having to sit down and talk to their kids about racism; tired of having to explain to White people what it’s like to be Black in America. The system is rigged, and has been for hundreds of years, and Black people know it, and Whites need to get on board. However, we should not be taking over this movement. We are guests in this movement, and need to listen to, take guidance from, and follow the lead of Black-led organizations. My local chapter of Showing Up for Racial Justice is White People for Black Lives. They partner with Black Lives Matter, taking their lead but having a strong voice in the fight.
Some of my friends have made comments to me about how they admire my activism. I cringe when I hear that, because although I’m glad if my words/actions inspire others, I never feel as though I’m doing enough. What is enough anyway? I vote for candidates and measures which support civil and human rights and specifically affect BIPOC, I try to educate and encourage friends to vote, I try to pay attention to people who look different than me, I give to organizations that support social justice, and do what they suggest I do -- I send letters, I call my reps, and once in a while I attend protests so that our work can be visible to the masses. But I don’t think I do any of those things often enough. I get settled in my own life and get overwhelmed. I continue to work through “White guilt” and “White shame” because I know damned well that Black folks do not want my White woman tears, apologies, or cowering. That is not helpful to the cause. Shame is never useful, and especially here. It is incredibly important for White women especially to get active in this fight, because we (ugh, I hate saying “we”) are the ones often calling the police because we feel “threatened” by Black men.
Ladies, just because we feel it, doesn’t mean it’s true! It’s conditioning, it’s patriarchy, it’s racism that is seeped into our bones. There is a national emergency going on (and has been going on for years/decades/centuries). We don’t want another mama’s child being killed by cops on our watch, do we? Do we want to see another man be suffocated or a woman shot in her bed, or a girl thrown to the ground by school police for talking in class? We can’t sit it out and wallow in our shame of being White. We can investigate our shame in the mornings or before we go to bed, write in our journals about it, meditate on it. But we have to make time in our everyday lives to fight for justice.
I know, I know, it’s hard. I work full time as a nurse, I have a family, and I have to practice self-care so I don’t fall to bits. But my kids are safe. My Black friends’ kids are not. That is the reality. (I have daughters, so of course their safety is a concern for different reasons – but they are not likely to get shot on their way to school and no one is going to call the cops on them for selling lemonade).
I think the best thing to do, with any kind of activism, is to choose a focus and do it. Otherwise it can be overwhelming because there is so much injustice happening across our country and the world. Climate change, healthcare, immigration, policing, money in politics, incarceration, violence against women…. But whatever direction we choose for our focus, it has to be a part of our everyday lives, and it has to focus on preserving, supporting and lifting up BIPOC voices, BIPOC lives, and BIPOC economic security. As beneficiaries of a White supremacist nation, it is our responsibility.
It is very humbling to write all of this because I am checking myself too. Who am I to talk? Have I made it my life’s work to bring up Black voices and Black lives? Kinda sorta, not really. Have I ignorantly benefited from this country’s racist history, even as an immigrant? Yup.. Have I always been drawn to having a diverse group of friends? Yes. Have I listened to them and learned as much as I can without sounding too much like an asshat? I think so. Would they say I’m an ally? Hopefully. But I’m a fumbling work in progress, and I will never fully understand their experience. I’ve said dumb things to my Black friends, and probably will again, and I’ve felt a lot of shame over it, and shame about being White in a White supremacist country. But whatever our shame is about (so many reasons in this life to feel shame, argh! Thank goodness for you, Brené Brown!) we cannot let it paralyze us and prevent us from doing what needs to be done in our own lives, and on behalf of others’ lives.
The work is long, tiring, and arduous, and there will be times when you feel like nothing you’re doing is helping. But keep going.
Below is a list of organizations doing all sorts of amazing work. Pick one or two and get to it! Feel free to comment if you have more suggestions for activism.
In solidarity and peace and being a human work in progress,
Siobhan
Some organizations and people where you can direct your support (money and actions). Look for them on social media as well:
https://colorofchange.org Take action and donate! One of the best orgs I’ve found.
Advocacy for families separated by L.A. County’s incarceration system -- the largest jail system in the world. http://justicelanow.org
The Movement for Black Lives. Sign up, take action and donate. https://m4bl.org
Find your local chapter of https://www.showingupforracialjustice.org and get busy! For L.A. people, our local chapter is https://www.awarela.org/white-people-4-black-lives.
Equal Justice Initiative: https://eji.org/issues/policing-in-america/
For women, girls, and those who identify as women who were formerly incarcerated or otherwise involved in the system: https://sisterwarriorsfree.org
National Bail Fund Network. Donate to community bail funds in your state. Too many people are incarcerated simply because they can’t afford the bail. Many haven’t even been charged with a crime. https://www.communityjusticeexchange.org/nbfn-directory
The Bail Project. https://secure.givelively.org/donate/the-bail-project
https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ab_mn One donation gets split between numerous orgs fighting for racial justice.
https://www.aclu.org/issues/racial-justice The ACLU continues to reliably fight for justice.
Loveland Foundation, bringing psychotherapy to mostly Black women and girls. https://thelovelandfoundation.org
Independent journalism. https://unicornriot.ninja
https://www.embracerace.org/ Teaching parents via webinars how to talk about race with their kids and bring up the next generation of anti-racists.
If you really want to sink your teeth in, here is a big list of organizations, organized by the kind of work they do:
https://nymag.com/strategist/article/where-to-donate-for-black-lives-matter.html
Some history lessons, for refreshers:
I love how the National Museum of African American History & Culture educates about race: https://nmaahc.si.edu/learn/talking-about-race. It’s good to read the basics sometimes, as a starting point.
The Smithsonian also gives a nice little history lesson too, for those who need some convincing. ;) https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/158-resources-understanding-systemic-racism-america-180975029/