Confessions of a (former) vaccine skeptic
Holistic-minded crunchy mama nurse gets her 2nd dose of Moderna vaccine
The power of a changed mind
Anyone who knows my holistic hippie raver chick weirdness knows that I was pretty nervous about vaccines as a young parent, but I was never anti-vaccines. I’ve tried to avoid using medicines for myself and my daughters as much as possible, because all medicines come with risks, including vaccines. But my nervousness and questioning led me down a path of fear-mongering resources and lots of confirmation bias.
I have come to understand, through my nursing education, learning how to discern health information, and being open to changing my mind, that vaccines play a crucial role in the health and wellbeing of individuals and populations as a whole. What hasn’t changed are my strong feelings that stress, poverty, oppression, access to clean water, and nutrition also play a huge role. And I’m a strong advocate for single-payer healthcare (i.e. Medicare for All).
I had many fears and confusion about vaccines as a new parent (before I was a nurse).
It felt like there were two camps: “Just do as I say because I’m your kids’ doctor and I say you should follow the pediatric vaccine schedule,” or the “anti” crowd who says that vaccines are terrifying and deadly, and a ploy by pharmaceutical companies to control you and make profits. I didn’t like either of those camps, and just wanted to make the “right” decision as a parent. (Disclaimer: There are no “right” decisions as a parent. We do our best with the tools we’re given, and our openness to learning).
Offbeat mom
I’ve been a mom for 20 years, and I’ve always been pretty “crunchy.” I birthed both of my girls with midwives, first time at a birth center, second time at home. Home was an amazing experience and I know wholeheartedly that it was the safest option for me and my babies because it’s where I felt most safe, so I was able to relax through the experience. I was in very skilled, nurturing hands with my midwives, I had normal pregnancies and had no complicated health conditions, and had taken the Bradley childbirth education classes with my partner. I was (am) very fortunate.
My wonderful homebirth of my second daughter in 2004, with my eldest helping the midwife examine the baby.
Midwife Seannie Gibson, LM, CPM, LLC
There are lots of vaccine skeptics in the natural birthing world. Many of us, in our search for a more nurtured pregnancy and birth experience than what is offered in most hospitals with OB/GYNs, discover that many of the choices offered in hospitals can be risky for mom and babies because they can cause a domino effect of interventions. We discover that just by walking into a hospital, we have a 33% chance of having a c-section! Thank goodness for c-sections when necessary, but surely, 1/3 of births do not need to be surgeries. The World Health Organization states that 10-15% of births by cesarean section would be ideal.
Many women who turn to midwives for their second births have had traumatic birth experiences in the hospital. These experiences understandably bring moms to question many things about standard medical practices. It leaves us wide open to questioning everything, including the safety and efficacy of vaccines. Moms with vaccinated children or family members on the autism spectrum worry, “What if it was the vaccines?”. Although the scientific community has determined no link between vaccines and autism, until we understand the causes of autism, parents may continue to be worried.
How my mind was changed
Once the Pandora’s Box of questioning everything is open, it can be hard to know when to stop. But it becomes exhausting to question everything and have difficulty trusting anything you are told by professionals.
The Pandora’s Box left me confused because like many vaccine-worried people, I was somewhere in the middle. I’m a bit of a rebel at heart, but I have NEVER been anti — I just wanted a thorough risks vs. benefits conversation, and it felt like answers were elusive. I did my best at “research” to find more in-the-middle answers, but now, as an educated nurse, I look back at some of the resources I used, and I see where I was susceptible to fear-mongering about vaccines. I did my best, but I never felt like I was making the “right” decision — I was just trying to make decisions based on the information I found and tried to understand.
What I realized is although there are some outliers, almost all physicians, public health advocates, epidemiologists, nurse leaders, and even many naturopathic physicians trust in the safety and efficacy of vaccines. My own doctors vaccinate their kids without hesitation.
It’s just like with climate change — there are some outlier scientists (and politicians who take advantage for their own personal gain and power), but generally, the entire community of scientists at every level acknowledge the threat of climate change. So maybe they actually know a thing or two about vaccines, and I’m just trippin’.
Privilege
Someone pointed out to me years ago that questioning vaccines comes from a place of privilege. That felt like an ice pick in my heart because I am passionate about equality and justice — so who the heck do I think I am, doubting the importance of vaccines for so much of the population? More affluent people may recover well from infectious diseases like measles with all the support available to them, but for people living in food deserts, without access to affordable health care or clean water, or with health conditions, it can be devastating. I agreed — my thoughts were the epitome of privilege. Ugh.
And then of course I went to nursing school. I learned how to properly interpret scientific information and find proper resources, and let go of much mistrust of the medical community.
I hope that my experience can be helpful to others who have been fearful or skeptical as well. It’s ok to change our minds.
Language and data matters
Click the image to read factual info about anaphylactic reactions to bites, foods, medicine, etc.
Articles are published like this one about a handful of people having anaphylactic reactions to the COVID vaccines, but they chose language to make the vaccines sound scary, rather than acknowledging that anaphylactic (severe allergic) reactions to ANY medication is a known risk, including vaccines — and healthcare staff is prepared to address it. Most people with anaphylaxis are treated immediately, and recover fully. In the article, instead of indicating that a total of 6 people had anaphylaxis after the vaccines out of the hundreds of thousands who had been vaccinated by that point, they write, “There have been multiple reports of anaphylaxis.” What is “multiple?” 50? 500? 5,000? No, there were 6. The language they use gets people worked up and scared, on purpose. All 6 of those people fully recovered.
Evidence does show that there is a higher chance of anaphylaxis with the Pfizer COVID vaccine than the flu vaccine, for instance — but that rate is still extremely low. There were 21 documented cases of anaphylaxis confirmed in VAERS (Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System) out of the first 1,893,360 doses given. That is 11.1 cases out of one million doses, vs. the flu vaccine is 1.3 cases per million. Out of the 21 cases documented, there were no deaths. (Keep reading below for info on the legitimacy of data from VAERS).
Reliable health resources
When making a health-related decision, it is important to listen to experts in the field, from organizations and individuals who understand the immune system, epidemiology, public health, and vaccine research. Even well-meaning people who think they’ve done “research” on vaccines and immunology do not have the understanding that is necessary to share information with the public. Just because someone shares a bar chart, doesn’t mean they fully understand how to interpret the data.
Here are some tips for evaluating websites and social media posts for reliable health-related information. (Including tips from American Academy of Family Physicians).
Who owns the website or social media page? Is it written by a health professional? If not, is it edited or reviewed by a health care professional? Is the writer qualified to make the statements in the article/post?
If it’s an article or story that lists facts, does it provide resources for those facts? Are the resources from reliable sources?
What are the abbreviations at the end of the website? Who is publishing the data and what is their background, what is their funding, and what is their purpose?
Education resources will be .edu. (Usually reliable)
U.S. government agencies: .gov. (Usually reliable, but I double-check with the WHO just in case!)
Non-profit organizations: .org. (It depends on the organization)
Publications by health field academies and associations such as the American Nurses Association or American College of Physicians are reliable science-based, often peer-reviewed articles.
For-profit companies or individuals: .com. (It depends!)
Is it a news organization article? Is it presented as a factual article, or is it an opinion piece? Is the news organization well-respected in the industry, with respected journalists?
Headlines can be very sensationalist, designed to get people’s attention. Can you read past the headlines and get to the nuances and details?
Pay close attention to the language used. There are warnings signs that it’s not a science-based resource:
Does it contain opinions?
Do they use strong adjectives to provoke an emotional reaction?
Do they use non-scientific words like, “multiple,” “countless,” when making a point, with no data to back up their claims?
Does the article or post contain data? Where did the data come from?
If the “data” comes from a non-science website (i..e. Facebook posts, non-healthcare worker Influencers, random TikTok posts) it is not reliable data. Even if the data itself is from a reputable source, does the person posting have qualifications to interpret it?
If the “data” comes from individuals scanning the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS), that is not reliable data. If the data comes from a healthcare organization who has reported on reviewed data from VAERS, then it is probably reliable. (More on that below — VAERS is a hot topic!)
How current is the article or data?
In nursing research, we are taught to only use studies/data that are less than 5 years old, but 1-2 years may be more appropriate for some topics. More than 5 years may be appropriate for less timely topics. You have to use critical thinking.
Is it a topic that is constantly being researched, and data being updated? COVID data changes as we learn about the virus, the illnesses it causes, and the vaccines. The comedian Stephen Colbert said about President George W. Bush in 2006, “He believes the same thing Wednesday, that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday.” Science = constant discovery and using an open mind to evaluate new data. We cannot believe the same thing on Wednesday that we believed on Monday, if new data came out on Tuesday! This isn’t “flip-flopping,” this is learning!
Healthy skepticism vs. conspiracies
Having some skepticism about healthcare news or information is not a bad thing. It’s good to have some healthy skepticism about anything we read, see or hear, regardless of the source.
National Nurses United campaigning for patient safety
If you have extreme distrust of every journalist, organization or government agency and won’t trust anything they/we say or do, that is a challenge. I understand hesitancy, and questioning if the government agencies (for example) have your best interests at heart. It’s true that our government is influenced by corporate interests and special interests — but some of those “special interests” include nurse and physician advocacy groups, public health organizations and departments. National Nurses United, the largest nurses’ union in the U.S., has been advocating for nurse and patient safety throughout this pandemic. They’ve been sharing factual information about the virus and insisting that nurses have the resources we need to care for patients with and without COVID. Nurses are the backbone of the healthcare industry and are the #1 advocates for patients. Nurses interests = your interests.
Skepticism among Black/Brown Americans
There is good reason for Black and Brown folks to be skeptical of medical research and the discoveries and advances that come from it. The medical community has performed horrific abuse over the decades and centuries, and Black and Brown people continue to suffer from health disparities that cause deaths and suffering from disease at disproportionately higher rates than Whites.
It is not Black and Brown Americans’ responsibility to try to trust the medical community — it is our job to earn trust, and that starts with acknowledging the uncomfortable facts about how people have been (and are) treated in healthcare, educating healthcare workers, and creating policies and safeguards that specifically address the needs and concerns of BIPOC communities.
Unhelpful skepticism
What can begin as healthy skepticism or questions can make us susceptible to lies and misinformation. This is why it’s important to question our sources. I watched a video of an influencer on Instagram with 100,000 followers who claimed to be a health-conscious person and supposedly cares about the health and wellbeing of his followers. He promoted conspiracy theories, claiming to be an expert, and dozens of people commented in agreement with him. Many of these pseudo-spiritual-health-conscious people rebuke even the most basic science, like the effectiveness of mask-wearing for preventing COVID transmission.
Some researchers predict that if 80% of the population wore masks, it would be more effective for slowing transmission than lockdowns! But the same people protesting lockdowns are the same ones who won’t wear masks. Sigh.
Recent concerns about COVID vaccines
I addressed some of the common conspiracy theories in another blog post, “The ‘C’ word (COVID), the vaccine and skepticism” such as whether doctors are over-reporting COVID cases, diagnosing COVID instead of bacterial pneumonia, and blaming post-vaccine fainting on the vaccine itself. I also explain the nature of mRNA vaccines, the vaccines’ ingredients, and “long-hauler syndrome” — the months-long symptoms people experience after “recovering” from COVID.
It’s an endless task trying to address new conspiracy theories that pop up. But some questions and concerns are valid. I am not an epidemiologist or immunologist, so below are some links to reliable resources so you can read more on your own:
Can the COVID vaccine cause Bell’s Palsy (facial paralysis)?
1 in 10,000 people in the U.S. get Bell’s palsy each year (unrelated to COVID). 4 out of 30,000 participants in the Moderna trials developed Bell’s Palsy, 3 of whom had received the vaccine (vs. the placebo) — which means that rates of Bell’s Palsy are the same in the vaccinated population as with the general population. No cause for concern has been determined.
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdfdirect/10.1002/brb3.1939
Headlines like this: “FDA staff recommends watching for Bell’s palsy in Moderna and Pfizer vaccine recipients” may catch our attention, but the article acknowledges that there is no cause for alarm.
Are the mRNA vaccines (Pfizer and Moderna) safe for pregnant or breastfeeding mamas?
The American Academy of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, the World Health Organization, and the American College of Physicians, among others, state that the risk of COVID to pregnant and breastfeeding women is of great concern with “increased risk for intensive care unit admission, invasive ventilation, extracorporeal membrane oxygenation, and death.” Although pregnant/breastfeeding women were not included in the trials, these organizations are encouraging women to be vaccinated when it is offered, especially if there are other health concerns or life situations that could make infection with COVID itself very concerning.
As of the time of this writing, 20,000 pregnant women have been vaccinated in the U.S., with no issues. There is no cause to wait until after pregnancy to be vaccinated with the Moderna and Pfizer mRNA vaccines because they are not “live” vaccines (there is no virus in the vaccines).
Should people with autoimmune disorders get the COVID vaccines?
Talk to your physician about whether the vaccine is safe for you, depending on your illness and the medications you’re taking. Autoimmune diseases are varied, every patient is different, and concerns are valid.
Here is the American College of Rheumatology’s clinical guidance summary for different diseases and medications. This file is being updated regularly. They state, “there is no reason to expect vaccine harms will trump expected COVID-19 vaccine benefits in RMD patients".
Can people still catch COVID once they’ve been vaccinated?
Some immunity occurs after infection, but it can depend on how severe the infection was. Agencies are recommending vaccination for those who have contracted COVID, because the 95% protection of the Pfizer/Moderna vaccines are greater than from immunity from the infection itself. Ask your doctor when it’s safe to receive the vaccine.
"VAERS shows that more people are dying more from the COVID vaccine than the disease itself.”
Absolutely not true! There are two issues with this claim:
VAERS is not a reliable source for data. It is a “passive” reporting system, meaning that patients, family members, and any healthcare provider can submit a report. The CDC and FDA continuously monitor and review reports on VAERS for any known risks of any of the vaccines, and to evaluate any possible new reactions not found in the original trials.
The few deaths that have occurred out of many millions of people vaccinated have not been associated with the vaccines. Two participants died during the Pfizer and Moderna trials who received the vaccines, but both deaths were from other causes. 74,000 people were in the trials, half of whom received the vaccines. In mid-January, Norway and the U.K. reported approximately 200 deaths shortly after vaccination among the elderly, but after review, no link to the vaccines could be drawn, and the WHO saw no need to change their vaccination recommendations.
Almost 34 million people have been vaccinated in the United States! Healthcare workers are doing our best to show our support for the vaccines, posting photos of ourselves getting vaccinated. If we feel safe getting vaccinated after doing our research, we hope that it will put some minds at ease! Look for #hcw4science on Instagram and Twitter to see lots of happy nurses and doctors getting vaccinated, including pregnant women!
Edward Nirenberg, a biochem graduate from Cornell, is a great resource on his blog and on Instagram @deplatformdisease for vaccine science. He does a great job explaining VAERS and how vaccine reactions are carefully monitored in the States. Edward is well-respected by many public health physicians.
“Why are vaccine manufacturers protected from lawsuits?”
The existence of the National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program creates a lot of confusion, and I was susceptible to the fear-mongering about the lack of vaccine company liability as well. The story told among skeptics and anti’s is that vaccine companies know their products are harmful and didn’t want to be financially responsible for vaccine-injured kids. The truth, as usual, is quite boring. As the U.S. became lawsuit-crazy in the 1980s, parents were suing vaccine manufacturers, doctors and nurses (!!!) over what they understood to be adverse reactions from vaccines. Some companies withdrew from the vaccine market due to the number of frivolous lawsuits, so the U.S. government was concerned we would have a shortage of vaccines, which would be devastating. The NVICP’s “no fault” system was born. You can read more about the misinformation here.
My current mindset — always learning.
I have an integrative approach to health and wellbeing. Our health is multidimensional, and it includes many aspects of our lives, our histories, our ancestors and their cultures, their joy and suffering and our own. We can enjoy the best of both worlds of modern science (medicine, vaccines, and surgery) and ancient wisdom (acupuncture, plant medicine, meditation) and everything in between.
Writing this blog post for the past 2 weeks has given me a few headaches, so first I try some lavender and frankincense oil on my temples and if that doesn’t work, I take Tylenol. My daughter has asthma, so I have a slew of supplements I have her take, but she also uses an inhaler. Best of both worlds.
I realize I haven’t addressed every cause for hesitancy and fear in a vaccine skeptic’s mind, and that was not my intention. I wanted to share my experience, and encourage us all to be open to changing our minds if we are presented with new evidence — and how to determine what defines reliable evidence. I am not going to lie and say that my fears have 100% gone away — but anytime a fear comes up about vaccines, I seek out information with an open mind to evaluate if my fears (or others’ fear-mongering) is valid. So far, they haven’t been.
Fear is contagious, so I have compassion for those who get sucked into it — but during a pandemic, fear about these life-preserving vaccines can keep us locked down and separated from each other, and can have disastrous health consequences.
We can protect each other, protect ourselves, get back to living a full life where we can hug, make new friends and lovers, get back to work and school — if we continue to wear masks and sign up for vaccines as soon as it’s our turn. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Read more in my previous blog, “The ‘C’ word (COVID), the vaccine and skepticism.”
Best wishes to all of you.
Follow these awesome people
There are some fantastic physicians, epidemiologists and public health advocates on Instagram who post tons of factual information consistently, including clearing up confusions. Remember that false information spreads SIX TIMES faster on social media than factual information, so make sure you share the truth often!
Go ahead and follow:
@jessicamalatyrivera @unbiasedscipod @panipurvinyc
@dr.risahoshino @doctor.darien @yourheartdoc
@dr.avivarma @deplatformdisease …. and I’m sure I’m forgetting some!
Please remember that any of my writings are for informational and educational purposes only. I do not give medical advice. Please consult with your provider before making any medical decisions.